As Sarah was walking into the hospital, Shirley was heading out towards her car, fumbling in her bag for her car keys. She felt tired and drained over the events of the last few days and now this. Why would anyone want to hurt someone like Philip? It just didn’t make sense. The sense of guilt for not being emotionally able to support her husband through this almost overwhelmed her, but sitting captive with him in the hospital waiting room late into the night before being allowed to see her brother-in-law was torturous. If she couldn’t even face being in the same room with him, then making sympathetic noises was next to impossible.

She was sure that crises like this were supposed to bring people together, help them to discover what was important in their lives and relationships, but her wounds were still too fresh and all she wanted to do was break away. She wasn’t sure if she wanted the separation to be permanent, they had been together such a huge proportion of their lives, but she did know she needed space to figure it all out.

Unlocking the car door, she sat behind the wheel for a while wondering what to do next. Her packed back was in the boot and the kids were still with Peter, but she didn’t fancy going to her mother’s house quite yet. That would just mean a long explanation that she wasn’t sure she was ready to give. Most of all, she wanted some sleep, but going back to her home was out of the question, she had no idea when her husband would return. No, what she needed was someone uninvolved with the family who she could talk to, and whenever she considered who that might be only one name kept surfacing in her mind: Daniel.

Daniel was really the only person she felt she could tell anything to. Most of her female “friends” were little more than acquaintances, people she had met on various school committees and fund raisers, people who you would chat about how your daughter was doing at school or what the new neighbours were like, but not anything of any real importance. She was aware that by seeking out Daniel she was probably going to make things a lot more complicated, but she was almost past caring.

She turned the key in the ignition and pulled out slowly from the carpark, finally having a destination in mind. The roads were busy and she struggled to find a car parking space near the caf? (presumably the run up to the retail fiasco known as the Christmas season) so she ended up in the multi-storey across town and walked.

Pushing open the door to the caf?, she hesitated. The plan in her mind had Daniel serving behind the counter, much easier to strike up a conversation, but in reality he was nowhere to be seen. This was silly, she told herself, you’re a grown woman and you have every right to be here. She walked up to the serving girl and asked, “is Daniel about today?”

The girl smiled, recognising her from the other day. “Yes, he’s just out back working on the books. Wait here a minute and I’ll go get him for you.”

Shirley watched the girl disappear around the corner and found herself wondering again if she was doing the right thing. What on earth did that girl think of her? Had she seen Shirley’s wedding ring? Had any of the customers noticed and overheard the conversation? Why should it matter anyway, she was just here to speak to a friend, wasn’t she? She waited, twirling her rings self-consciously, afraid to turn around in case she saw everyone staring at her accusingly.

“Hi Shirley, it’s good to see you again! How are you?” Daniel had appeared through the doorway and was smiling at her warmly. Then he paused, noticing her pallid features. “What is it? What’s happened? Do you want to come through to somewhere quiet to talk?” He gestured back through to his living quarters.

Shirley nodded, not able to trust herself to say anything, but knew that she couldn’t sit out here with all the other customers and frankly discuss her private life. She had come this far, it seemed silly to back out now and leave without confiding in anyone. She followed Daniel behind the counter and through the doorway, climbing some steep narrow stairs into the flat above the shop.

“Sorry, I’d take you into the downstairs office, but it’s very cramped and all surfaces are strewn with paperwork, we’ll be more comfortable up here.” Daniel said casually over his shoulder as they climbed the staircase.

“That’s fine,” she said, feeling anything but, her nasty habit of blushing rising to the fore again with the thought of being invited into this man’s home. Stop it, she told herself, you’re not doing anything wrong!

The top door opened into a small living area. The furniture and decor were ageing but homely and welcoming; Shirley found herself surprised that it was nothing like the stereotypical bachelor pad that she had imagined.

Daniel grinned at her as if reading her thoughts. “I have a cleaner that comes around once a week, but I generally like things tidy anyway. You never know when you might have an unexpected guest, after all.”

Shirley laughed nervously.

“Anyway, make yourself at home, take a seat. Can I get you a drink? Tea? Coffee? Something stronger?”

“No, if I had anything alcoholic I would be passed out on your sofa in seconds! Not a good idea. Tea would be lovely though, thank you.” She sat down on the settee while Daniel disappeared into a small kitchenette. She took the opportunity to have a good look around while he was out of the room. There were lots of photos with him and a little girl; Shirley recognised her as his daughter, from the wallet photo he had shown previously. There was a small bookcase in the corner, crammed with paperback books at all angles for maximum possible storage, and in the opposite corner there was a portable television perched on a narrow table – it was out of direct view from the sofa and Shirley suspected that it wasn’t used much.

A little while later, he returned with a couple of cups of tea and a plate of biscuits. “I wasn’t expecting any visitors so best I could scrounge up was a meagre offering of bourbons,” he smiled apologetically, “but I can always pop down to the caf? if you’re feeling more hungry than that, it’s not a bother.”

Shirley helped herself to a biscuit. “These are fine, really. I was admiring the pictures of you and your daughter, she’s a very beautiful little girl.”

“Isn’t she? I’m sure she’ll be breaking a few hearts before long.” He glowed with fatherly pride. “However, I’m pretty sure you didn’t come here to make small talk about Amy. Do you want to talk about it?”

Shirley knew she couldn’t put it off any longer, took a deep breath and then found herself narrating the events of the last few days: the cocktail party where she had first had reason to suspect Peter wasn’t telling her the entire truth, the trip to Torquay and coming face-to-face with the object of his betrayal, the hospitalisation of her much loved brother-in-law. It was almost as if it was a third person in the room filling in the background details, she felt distanced from the story. Perhaps you could only get so emotional about something before your brain cut you off to protect yourself from further pain, or perhaps it was just that Daniel was easy to talk to and she felt safe here. She finished off with the relief that Philip hadn’t been in as critical a condition as they’d feared and how he was expected to make a full recovery, but that as a result she felt even more distanced from Peter. “I just don’t know if we have any future any more. I don’t think I can trust him ever again. I can’t bear him near me even for the sake of family solidarity in a crisis. That can’t be a good sign, can it?”

Daniel’s eyes were full of shared pain. “Oh Shirley, you really have been through hell and back, haven’t you?”

So much for her brain protecting her from her emotions. At the first sign of sympathy they came flooding back and tears welled up in her eyes. Shirley couldn’t hold them back and soon dissolved into a flood of sobs. Daniel moved from the chair opposite and sat down beside her on the sofa, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her in for a hug. She relaxed into the embrace, oblivious to the rights and wrongs of the situation, so desperate was she for reassurance and comfort. Eventually though, as she calmed down she became more aware of his proximity and pulled away, acutely embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” she said, rubbing her eyes fiercely in the hope of eradicating the proof of tears, “I must look an absolute fright.”

“Not at all,” Daniel said softly, bringing up a hand and more gently wiping her eyes with a brush of his fingers. “You just look like a woman who’s been through far too much these last few days.”

Shirley, hyper aware of his touch against her face, went completely still, mesmerised by his concerned gaze, suddenly realising what she wanted most in the world at this moment was for him to kiss her and wondered what it would be like for her to feel his lips against hers.

His face leant towards her as she held her breath waiting for that anticipated moment. At the last moment he pulled away as if shocked by what he had almost done and moved away to put some safe distance between them. “Oh God, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Shirley bit back her disappointment. “I didn’t mind,” she whispered, not altogether sure if he heard.

“I know it sounds trite, but I would have been taking advantage of the situation.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You really don’t need that sort of complication right now. It’s not that I don’t… I care for you a lot, I really do, but I don’t want to be the reason your marriage falls apart.”

Shirley laughed wryly, “I think Peter might hold more responsibility on that score.”

“No, I know that, but you’ve been together a long time, you have a family together. A partner’s adultery doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the relationship, the marriage could still be salvaged if you both want it to be. I also don’t want to be a means of point scoring against your husband.”

She paled, “I never meant…”

“No. I’m sorry, that came out completely wrong. I would just like to be certain that you are absolutely sure of what you want, that I’m not just someone who was conveniently there. I think you need some time to yourself for a while – you’ve given your family so much focus over the years that I think you’ve lost sight of your own needs and interests. Find yourself first, then…”

“Then?”

Daniel sighed, “then decide if you have room for anyone else in your life.”

“You’re probably right.” In fact, she knew he was, but then why did she feel so utterly miserable?

“If it is any consolation, I’m probably going to bitterly regret saying all that over the next few days.” He sighed.

Shirley got up from the sofa and leaned over, softly kissing his cheek. He looked up in surprise. “All in all, I think it’s best that I go now. Thank you, Daniel.” She turned and walked down the stairs and left the caf? without a backward glance.