At the same time, I’ve just started an awesome creative writing class called The Discovery Wonkshop led by Lani Diane Rich over at StoryWonk. It’s all geared around the pre-writing discovery process of writing a novel and even after only one class has kicked my brain into creative mode.

Our first assignment is to create a soundtrack for our story, so I have been spending the last couple of evenings with Spotify, Last.fm and a bottle of wine (as Lani says, “Best Homework EVER!”). I have spent a ridiculous amount of money on iTunes and somehow seem to have ended up with 6 hours of music in my soundtrack. I might need to prune a little.

All good, and all very exciting. Except I’ve just realised that it’s my martial arts class tonight so I need to flip back out of ‘daydreamy plot mode’ back into ‘fighting mode’ and in between find my ‘competent parent mojo’. I think my lead character is going to end up with a split-personality disorder.

Send help. Send chocolate.

It’s amazing how cut off this word deprivation exercise has made me feel, even when I’ve slipped up or cheated a little bit. For good or bad, a big part of my socialising and relationships are conducted through words on a screen. It’s really very lonely without that connection. I miss the random and spontaneous IM conversations, watching banter unfold on Twitter, and catching up with people’s thoughts on their blogs.

I never really understood the write-only mentality you sometimes get on message boards, where people reply without really reading what had already gone on further up in the thread. This experiment has just underlined how utterly futile it is.

I feel like I’m writing blind. What’s the point?

So far, I have to confess that the author completely and utterly drives me up the wall. It’s not just a 12-week course, it’s written in the style of a 12-step programme treating the reader as if they were fighting an addictive substance rather than searching for inspiration. The tone is very patronising in places. God is shoved into practically every other sentence, verging on proselytising in several places.

To summarise, she’s not going to be making my Christmas card list.

However, I do have to confess that some of it is quite useful, so I’m plodding along, if only because I don’t have a better plan right at this moment in time. Today though, I got to the instructions for week four: word deprivation.

Yes, this week I am supposed to read NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. I sat down and worked out what would be banned in consequence: any internet use including RSS feeds, twitter and IM; books and magazines (obviously); podcasts and audiobooks (because that’s clearly just replacing books with spoken words instead of written ones); reading to the children. Shit, that’s pretty much everything I do.

I’m also not even sure that’s even physically possible for me. On Weekend Luddite days my first reaction is to reach for a book. I survive utterly boring household chores by listening to books and podcasts on my iPod. I can’t even get to sleep at night if I haven’t wound down for an hour with a book (audio or paperback). What an utterly joyless prospect.

I ranted at Akra that the entire premise was completely impossible. “So don’t do it,” he said. I explained that rather defeated the object of dragging myself through this whole course kicking and screaming. “So do it,” he replied. That’s about as helpful as he gets.

So I’m doing it. Monday to Friday only, because I think I’ll be dangerously close to depression by the end of five days, let alone seven. I’m interpreting it as “no reading for pleasure”, so chores will still get done, as will my blog posting and Project 365 on Flickr. Only automated updates will be showing on Twitter or Facebook for the week, though. IM will be switched off. Important emails and various paperwork will still be done. Effectively my Internet use for the week will be a write-only medium.

I’ve ordered in extra gin and Southern Comfort.

(Thinking about it, it’s probably just as well that I’m familiar with the structure of a 12-step programme now, isn’t it?)

Not all of these words are good, in fact a great many of them aren’t.

Okay, make that most of them.

But overall, I think I have a basic sketch of a decent plot, two potentially strong characters and a world which is interesting and needs more exploration. It’s something that’s worth further work on it.

However, thanks to a lot of broken nights this week (the kids have been ill), there were many times where I lost complete confidence in what I was writing, as evidenced in this IM conversation with Sylvia from the Can’t Backspace blog earlier today…

Me: oh FORGODSSAKE I’ve just found myself writing a FRIGGING STAR WARS SCENE
Sylvia: lol hmm
Me: oh wth, I’ll fix it later
Sylvia: it’ll do as a marker for the type of scene you want :)
Me: *mutter mutter bloody hack mutter*

Let’s just say, I’ve earned a glass of wine this evening.

I’m going to take a break from the story for a couple of weeks, during which I intend to read as many other science fiction stories as I can fit in. The plan is to make lots of notes about plotting, characterisation and what works/doesn’t work for me.

After that I have planned some heavy world building and character building sessions to hopefully breathe more life into my story for the second draft.

Incidentally, at dinner tonight, I shared the news of my finished draft with the boys. Akra Jr in particular was thrilled.

Akra Jr: Mummy, can I read your short story
Me (hyper aware of the torture and murder scenes in said story): Erm, no… I don’t think it’s really suitable, sorry
Akra Jr: Mummy, can you write me a short story, about how to make things, or about dinosaurs…. or … oh, you don’t know much about Star Wars, do you.

No dear, I just channel the film whenever I’m tired and am trying to get out my daily word count…

Have taken photos,
And written five hundred words,
Plus paid work as well.

Am now out of time,
The children are home from school,
Still not enough done.

Excuses I know,
But at least it’s creative,
Will blog tomorrow.

I had a hospital appointment this morning which involved a brisk walk, followed by lots of waiting around with a book I was not very interested in and a brisk walk back. It could have felt like a complete waste of several hours, but it gave me lots of time to people watch and mull plots and ideas over. I was warned that my new medication might cause nightmares and my first reaction was “great, more inspiration for book plots!” Hmm, maybe I’d better not try any children’s fiction for a while.

Time to write was limited, I was only able to snatch a few minutes here and there in between needing to be somewhere else. Still managed to get my 500 words done and quickly – I seem to be far more productive when time is in short supply, if I have a whole day I spend most of it looking out the window.

Dinner was a risotto which meant that I was stuck by the hob with only an ipod and Amanda Palmer’s album for company. Second song in I suddenly knew the theme how my current work in progress ends AND its overall theme. Thank you Amanda. Fortunately, I did manage to remember it until I could escape without burning the dinner.

So there you go. My secret to creativity: make sure you have absolutely no time to write and have lots of tedious time with nothing else to do but think.

MUSE ON!

(for at least as long as it lasts)

It’s also incredibly timely for me. I’d pretty much given up on the idea of fiction writing – I’ve had so many false starts and I obviously didn’t have the drive required to get anywhere with it. Far better writers than me aren’t even getting off the starting blocks, so what’s the point in trying?

Then out of the blue, I’ve had a story idea bugging me for several days. Every time my mind has gone slightly blank or relaxed I’ve ended up daydreaming the plot (with me as the heroine, of course – that’s how all the best daydreams work). Eventually, it occurred to me that I really ought to attempt to write it down, if only to exorcise it from my head so I can actually get some stuff done around here.

The funny thing is, while every single word I put down was hard going, I realised that this process was something I had been desperately missing. All of a sudden, I have a total of 1000 words on the story already and ideas for how the next two scenes are going to go – not a massive amount, but more than I’ve written in ages.

Now though, my usual road block has kicked in, my inner self-fulfilling prophet: it’s not really any good, the plot isn’t structured enough, the science isn’t convincing enough and there’s no WAY that character would do that are you INSANE, it won’t sell anyway, I don’t even want anyone else to read it why would I?, if I’m not going to do anything properly with it then what’s the point, WHAT IF I FAIL?

I have had too many writing projects fall by the wayside, I have sabotaged myself so many times.

500 words of fiction. Every weekday in term-time. Even if no-one ever gets to see it.

I need to stop being a quitter.

I’m sort of glad I didn’t, though. This November has turned out rather busy and we’ve all had nasty colds – I’m pretty sure I would have ended up dropping out within a week.

Still, it’s a good plot idea, and I’ve been slowly putting in half an hour of time here and there – fleshing out the idea, doing some research, trying to write in the voice of the main character to get a feel for her personality. I’m having fun with it and I’m glad now that I didn’t try and rush through it to get it finished within 30 days – I want this story to work.

I doubt I’ll get anywhere very fast, but at least it’s ticking over in my head ready for that mythical day when I suddenly get some free time. And if not, it’ll still get done. Half an hour at a time.

Only, I haven’t quite finished. I still have two sections of the book left to write before I can actually declare a complete first draft. That’s about another 3000 or so words to go. And for some reason, my two proof readers in my writing group are a bit miffed that I hurriedly wrote “and they lived happily ever after” right after I’d left the main character in a rather nasty predicament.

There’s no pleasing some people, is there?

Oh well… a couple more days work for me before catch up then…

NaNo is going less than well. Tiredness is setting in, lots of other demands on my time have suddenly become urgent, I’m about 2000 words behind where I wanted to be right now, and more recently the satellite signal on our TV has disappeared.

Yes, I now have to write without recourse to CBeebies.

Finances being as they are, we’re going to have to wait until next payday to get it fixed, so I face the next two weeks of NaNo without the electronic babysitter.

Oh shit, I’m doomed.

This is all very well, but it’s just so hard to keep schtum. The last couple of days all I’ve been thinking about in my spare moments (well, apart from Scrubs… thanks again for getting me completely addicted just as I had so much to do, Tiger Feet) has been plot planning. I’ve got just over a third of the way through in my section sheets and I’m having to bite my tongue on the walk to school this morning so I don’t blurt out “oh sorry, bit distracted… I’m writing a novel and I’m just trying to work out my subplot…”.

And I’m obsessed. I have my subplot muddled in with my main plot and my viewpoint characters just aren’t behaving. I haven’t even started writing the damn thing yet and they’re already being opinionated and stubborn. I’m just DYING to talk over all the nuances with someone so I can get it straight in my head, but I daren’t. The ideas might fall out.

I now fully appreciate the origin of the phrase “to have lost the plot”. I think mine went to Bournemouth…

… I hope it gets back in time for November 1st.

Yes, I think I may be clinically insane.

After a lot of deliberation, I’ve decided to give NaNoWriMo 2006 a proper go – worse case scenario I can only fail spectacularly.

I realise I only have 14 actual days left where I can do some planning. Fortunately, I already have a stalled novel project where the first 7 sections are outlined. Only 33 more sections to plan before November 1st. ARGH!

Anyway, consider this advance warning that November might be a bit blog-lite here at the Prattle.

For those who haven’t a clue what I’m talking about, NaNoWriMo is a month where lots of delusional people write a ‘novel’ of 50,000 words in the space of 30 days in November. I managed to complete it two years ago, but last year failed dismally (although having a 6 month old in the house at the time, probably had an impact on that).

This year, Akra Jr is off at school and Li’l Bhaji still takes a two hour nap in the middle of the day. Technically, I should have time to do this, shouldn’t I? Only, if I’m going to do it I really should start thinking about doing some preparation work now.

Like working out what the hell I’m going to write about…

The reason I ask is that I’m a member of Inspirations – a small, relaxed amateur writer’s group. Unfortunately, we’ve become a little too relaxed as real life has intervened and have become less than prolific, reducing the incentive to post. So we’re opening it up to new members.

On the site there is a chat area, a place to regularly post (the idea being that anyone can write at least 50 words a day), work-outs and writing exercises, and a place to request and offer critiques on finished pieces of work. Our ethos is to encourage regular writing in a supportive community.

If this sounds just what you’re looking for, pop on over and register and say hello on the “Welcome” board!

Apparently, it’s rare for adults to be affected, so of course, I seem to have come down with it worst in the family. I avoided most of the childhood illnesses except measles in my first year of Secondary school, as a result I’m getting them all as an adult. Even so, I seem to have got off lightly – at the moment it just feels like a very heavy cold plus a load of cold sores in my mouth. Akra Jr so far only has ONE spot (and has done for the last 48 hours, so I’m hoping that’s his lot) and Li’l Bhaji has just been a bit clingy and needing night feeds again. None of us have a temperature.

The only main problem with being ill but not that ill is that everything tends to be put on hold. Akra Jr hasn’t gone to nursery yesterday or today (although he’ll probably go back tomorrow as the nursery aren’t fussed as long as he feels well enough in himself – after all, he’d have infected everyone last week anyway) but is still well enough to want full entertaining. Entertaining which usually needs to be done with a baby in my arms at the same time. As a result, I’m now behind in my copywriting work (still well within deadline, but the time left to do it is rapidly diminishing) and I think the NaNoWriMo novel isn’t going to make it this year. I reached 20,000+ words, but am now far enough behind that with my other commitments at the moment is just too far to warrant the stress involved to catch back up again. Oh well, there’s always next year.