Sod this.

I quit.

And the day goes from bad to worse.

Some ignorant little prick decides to ball me out on the doorstep for daring to leave a catalogue through the door. Apparently I am meant to be psychic and automatically know which houses take delight in browsing through the contents of said catalogue and those which loathe the sight of them.

Apparently he has told other distributors not to distribute there – great, but catalogue distribution doesn’t work like that I’m afraid – we’re working blind (and for a pittance so give us a fucking break).

In addition, he thinks that the catalogue being posted through was an advert that he was away for a few days. What? He can’t do what every other person does who goes away on holiday – ask a neighbour to look after his post? What’s he going to do with the mountains of free papers that are going to accumulate?! Why doesn’t he put up a sign saying “no free papers, catalogues or salespeople” that some houses have – I know not everyone honours them, but I always do.

Instead, it probably made his day to have someone lowlier than him to be obnoxious to. In case you’re wondering, I was unfailingly polite to his face and apologised profusely, crossing him off my delivery list. Mouthing off is what blogs are for.

Wanker.

I’m a bit cross. You may have noticed.

Oh, and (different house now) Mr Slimy Creep I will *NOT* be going into your house while you search high and low for what you did with the catalogue. Thanks all the same.

The things we do for money. Or no money as the case may be.

On the up side, a thousand blessings on those nice people who not only put out their catalogue on the day requested but went the extra mile and put the order form at the front so I could see they hadn’t ordered. It’s so much easier than rummaging through the pack to check before you leave (yes, there are some people that don’t put their address on their orders – you don’t want to leave the premises before checking).

Well I’ve now been a catalogue distributor for just over a week and I’m sure you’re all desperate to hear how I’ve been doing. Oi, stop that sniggering at the back.

I think I’ll start with the negative whinge. My shoulder aches. Catalogues are bloody heavy – I can manage to carry about 25 at a time before my shoulder drops off and I have packed, delivered and collected about 130 catalogues this week. I did try a trolley-type thingy for one evening, but I felt such a prat (because carrying a logo-emblazoned bag is so much better for the self-image) that I stopped that.

I also have a very bruised and sore finger on my left hand where a letterbox bit me.

Some people have made the most pathetic excuses why they can’t return the catalogue (just tell me you’ve lost it – that’s fine, just don’t waste 10 minutes of my time giving me an elaborate story about how your husband took it into work when he declares no knowledge – it’ll only become blog fodder).

The most depressing sound in the world is hearing snarling dogs ripping something up on the other side of the door just as you’ve dropped a catalogue through.

Out of 50 catalogues I have definitely lost around 3, another 15 are proving “difficult” to reobtain. Some are looking decidedly tacky, although I have discovered that a quick swish over with a baby wipe gets rid of even the most stubborn coffee stain.

The 3-4 hour a week job took me around 8-10 hours all in, i.e. practically all my spare time. I’ve been left feeling absolutely drained most evenings and losing that precious “me” time is impacting on the rest of the day too. For that I earned a grand total of eighteen pounds and twenty six pence. That’s before I replace the catalogues I’ve lost. Being a MacDonalds droid is suddenly appearing quite lucrative.

Taking Akra Jr around with me is proving difficult as it’s very boring for him and rather unfair, so I’m limited to evenings once Akra has come home. Okay at the moment, but rainy dark winter evenings aren’t appealing much.

Now for the positive stuff. Yes, there is some, honest. My personal goal for the week was to break the ?100 order barrier (after that the delivery costs become cheaper). My total orders were just over that, which I’m quite pleased about.

I now know the roads about my house very well indeed and have met neighbours I probably wouldn’t have otherwise bumped into.

I have 9 customers who are likely to buy again, and I know the houses where I won’t bother giving a catalogue to again – time and money saved. Next month should be a lot more efficient and profitable.

I like the flexibility of choosing when I work, and the vast majority of the people are really friendly and nice.

So am I going to keep at it? Probably. Mainly because I’ve just foolishly promised 9 people I’m going to be dropping a catalogue in through their door in a month’s time and I like to keep my word. I just hope Akra Jr isn’t expecting this to be adding to his college fund, because he’s going to be severely disappointed. I think I’ll cancel the order for the Ferrari too…

The reason my entry was so short yesterday was a killer attack of nerves that eradicated all ability to think of a blog topic. Yesterday was my first catalogue drop.

For some reason, sticking 50 catalogues through letterboxes suddenly seemed a very frightening prospect, and I made excuses all day why I couldn’t go out quite yet. In the end, I took Akra Jr out in the pushchair as my bodyguard in the afternoon and delivered half of them (it’s illegal to be rude to someone when they’re accompanied by a toddler, isn’t it?), then delivered the other half in the evening on my own when I was feeling more confident.

I think I probably had a pretty average experience for catalogue delivery: one small yappy dog that looked like the biting kind (won’t be going back there if they don’t order from me!), two larger dogs behind a door who probably ripped the package to shreds the second it hit the mat, one outright refusal and one rival distributor’s catalogue on the doorstep (with an order, damnit!) It was all quite exciting really.

I then sat exhausted on the sofa waiting for the hordes of angry neighbours to descend on me waving catalogues in one hand and burning torches in another. But no. Only a phone call from my upline seeing how my first day went.

I collect them again on Friday. Let’s hope I actually get some orders…

So I was listening to one of those inspirational tapes things this morning (yes, I know I know … it’s borrowed) and they were saying how most people would find it really easy to make a list of 10 things that they were unhappy with in their life at the moment. However, get them to write a list of 10 things that they were happy with and it would be quite a struggle to think of the full ten.

I’d agree with that. It’s human nature to constantly focus on the negative. We say “why does this always happen to us?” rather than look at all the things that are going well. So I was wondering, could you list 10 things that are great about your life at the moment? A completely positive list with no negative qualifiers like “of course, it would be better if…” Here’s mine (in no particular order):

1. Finally back as a family again. It’s great having Akra home in the evening – the excitement that builds as Akra Jr listens out for the car, hears the door close, sees Daddy walk past the window and then runs to the door to greet him. To be able to chat in the evening about our days and make plans together again.

2. The house is really nice. The finish on the house is good, no decorating to do unless we want to do it. It feels more like home and all the rooms are looking pretty good.

3. Finally debt free. We used the equity on our old house and by moving away from London and getting a slightly smaller property we managed to clear all our loans and credit cards. We only have a small interest-free loan from family now to clear. It feels such a relief and we’re definitely going to keep it this way.

4. Akra Jr is at a really great age. He’s so fun to be around now he can hold a conversation and is more interactive. A really happy and energetic boy, I’m so proud of him.

5. These computers are ace. Have I mentioned that already?! Currently ripping up all the CDs I own and STILL have oodles of space on the Hard Drive!

6. Money of my own. I’m really excited at the thought of being able to earn a little money of my own to pay for a few little luxuries. Even better that I can fit it in around my life and not worry about having to put Akra Jr in some sort of daycare.

7. It’s sunny and warm. I’ve got that lovely lazy, cheerful feeling that comes with nice weather. All the windows and the patio doors are open and there’s a really pleasant breeze wafting past.

8. There’s cornettos in the freezer box. Sort of natural extension from the above point really!

9. The area is really nice. We’ve had plenty of opportunity to have a bit of a wander around now, and there’s some really good playgrounds nearby for Akra Jr, the town centre has all the things we need and I’ve learnt where the crucial things are like library, WHSmiths, Boots, Marks & Spencers Food Hall etc…

10. New interests. The best thing about moving to a completely new area is that it really gives you the opportunity to evaluate what you do with your time and make a fresh start. I’m enjoying the druidry course I’ve started, have plans to do more reading, writing and photography, and Akra Jr has lots of lovely things starting in September.

So there you are. Lots of reasons to be happy. What’s yours?

I’m not sure if I’ve been very very silly.

Being a bit worried about our current household cashflow (cash? wot cash?) I’ve been thinking for a while about doing one of these catalogue delivery things to earn a bit of pocket money. The guy who used to deliver catalogues to our house in Croydon was really cool – not in your face, was reliable and friendly so it seemed like a reasonable idea that could be combined with looking after Akra Jr full time. Flexibility is the key.

Finally took the plunge and bought myself a starter kit. Feeling horribly guilty for all those times Akra Jr ripped up a catalogue before it was left out again for pick up or when I forgot to leave it out to be collected as I now realise the poor sod had to pay for replacements. All the literature seems very hard sell, but I don’t want to be like that – I just need some pin money. I don’t have to be, do I? The other guy wasn’t like that.

*sigh*

Took the car in for a service this morning which meant that I had to return via bus. I like bus journeys (well, at least the ones where you know where you’re going) as it gives me the opportunity to let my mind drift and to look at all the scenery as I pootle along.

On the way, I passed my old office. In a previous incarnation (known as pre-motherhood), I used to work for a large multinational in Customer Service. I like to think I was quite good at it too. However, looking at the workers going about their daily routine of buying coffee downstairs (there’s big glass windows at the front of this building – my psychic powers aren’t that good), swiping their security passes through the barrier and waiting for the lift, it made me wonder if I missed all that. It certainly seems a whole lifetime away now and not just two and a half years ago.

No.

Not at all.

How did I ever find the time to be in paid employment?!

I also noticed a couple of shops next to each other which made me smile. The first one, a Wesley Owen Christian bookshop has been there forever, well okay, as long as I’ve lived here which is … seven years now? The shop next to it must have recently opened (well, recently being in the last year – I don’t go down that street often) and is a new agey/esoteric/curio type shop (at least, that’s what it looks like from the outside) with an “egyptian cafe” inside. It actually looks rather cool and had loads of really beautiful things in the window display, so I must go and investigate if I get a chance (and I don’t have an Akra Jr with me to leave a trail of devastation in my wake). I bet the christian bookshop had kittens when that place opened up next door. I had this image flash through my mind of groups of serious looking christians holding prayer meetings in the back of the shop, petitioning God for protection from evil forces emanating through the wall, and next door the owners cheekily making their displays more and more outrageous just to annoy the christians. Well, made me smile anyway.

Funnily enough, having experience of belonging in both camps, I have deep sympathy for both sides and now would probably be quite happy having a gentle browse in either shop. Does that mean I’m becoming a more emotionally and spiritually mature adult? God, I hope not…