Akra laughed when I wrote yesterday that the Twilight DVD was “a little disappointing” as he pointed out that I’d complained through most of it. However, before I get too far into the film’s weaknesses I should first point out what the film did well, in the spirit of fairness.

(Note, for the purposes of this review, I am assuming you have read the book and are wondering whether to bother seeing the film. While I will try and not be too spoilery I can’t guarantee I won’t ruin anything for you if you don’t know the basic plot – if that’s a problem for you, you may want to skip this post).

Most of the casting was excellent – while they weren’t exactly as I’d imagined, both Bella and Charlie fit the roles well and their interactions were a believable father/daughter relationship. Alice (in particular, out of all the Cullens) was awesome, as soon as I saw her I thought “she’s exactly Alice” and Esme was also sympathetically casted. I didn’t really have a clear image in my head of any of the other minor characters, and none of them grated.

There were several scenes in the book that I knew would visually translate well, and they didn’t disappoint. These were the scenes with the runaway van, the rescue from the four attackers in the alleyway, the baseball game (this scene I particularly enjoyed watching – you get a real feel for the camaraderie of the Cullens and an understanding of their abilities, plus the music is great) and the final showdown in the ballet studio.

What was not done quite so well? I am resisting the temptation to just say “everything else” and finish the post there. The audiobook ran to around 13 hours long, so it’s not totally surprising they’d have to drastically compress the plot to fit it into a 2 hour film, but even so, some of the choices of the scenes seemed a bit random. Several times, there was exposition that actually required information from the book plot to know how it tied in. Conversations were rewritten to keep the gist but had the result of losing vital information and… its soul.

Then there were the effects. While much of the vampires’ motion was in the style of The Matrix and effectively done, the makeup was atrocious. Rather than smooth porcelain-white skin, you could visibly see the thick pale foundation which made their faces rough and ugly. Their radiant glow in sunlight was interpreted as a bit of glitter and blown out highlights in camera – laughable rather than awe inspiring. Combined with over-used “arty” camera angles throughout, it had me seriously irritated.

And finally, there was Edward – the most important character in the entire story. Sadly, the quick-witted, intelligent, and immortal predator was reduced to being a sullen stalker-ish teenager who could barely string a sentence together. His attempts at smouldering were pathetic. You were really left wondering what the hell Bella saw in him at all and why she didn’t get an injunction against him. Although, to be fair, the lines they gave him were so dull compared to the actual conversations in the book, the actor really did have his work cut out for him. As a result, his performance was wooden and uninspired.

So no, I didn’t enjoy the film as much as I’d hoped. One day I’ll learn to go see the film BEFORE reading the book it was inspired by. I did buy the song from the baseball scene off of iTunes, though.