Argh! Where did the last few days go?!

We’ve been off seeing friends, surviving the end of term and generally getting last minute stuff done and all of a sudden it’s Christmas Eve. Things might not calm down much for the next week or so, so I hope you all have a great time this next week whichever holiday traditions you observe.

See you in 2009!

Today I am back to being an employed person. I am no longer a feckless sponger living off the generosity of my husband (yes Akra, I do appreciate that you don’t think of it that way!)

Okay, it’s only working from home for a few hours here and there and will be sporadic at best, but it helps. Especially as the washing machine is currently making ominous noises and refusing to drain.

It has slightly scuppered my intention to reduce my computer use, but at least it’s timed well with my more disciplined use of my time.

I am still intending to keep up the routine of writing here regularly. Except, I am conscious that I’m doing a poor job in replying to comments of late. I’m consciously veering towards making sure there’s a regular post rather than worrying too much about other site stuff, but am I getting the balance right? I do read and appreciate every comment that you leave, even if I don’t always reply.

Anyway, enough navel-gazing. Back to work!

Following on from yesterday’s post, I’ve been thinking about what feeling Christmassy is all about. Well, not in a profound deep and meaningful way, more about the little things that give me that little giddy childish excitement in the run up. For me, it’s the not the big ticket extravaganza, but more about the little family rituals… the small stuff.

Some years I end up panicking a bit, afraid that this is the year that I’ve finally grown up and lost the spark. That I’m doomed to just being a passive observer of my own children’s excitement and have joined the ranks of the cynical and depressed (not that I’m untalented at being cynical and depressed the rest of the winter season).

So far, touch wood, the Christmas spirit has switched on eventually, even if it cuts it a little fine.

Usually, we don’t put up our decorations until the last minute. Partly because it just doesn’t seem as special if they’re hanging around for ages and partly because our living room is small and they tend to take over.

Once the decorations are up, though, we are then “allowed” to play Christmas music and crack open the Baileys (now that’s a popular Christmas spirit… hic). The point where I really start to feel that Christmas is on the way, though, is when we dig the Christmas films out: Love Actually, Polar Express, While You Were Sleeping, Miracle on 34th Street (the newer one), and Muppet Christmas Carol (this last one is reserved for our Christmas Eve “everything is now ready, let Christmas come” ritual).

I’ve recently found Sleepless in Seattle and Die Hard Quadrilogy in the pre-Christmas sales and have accidentally added them to our collection. I used to have the classic It’s A Wonderful Life at some point, but it’s mysteriously gone missing (perhaps its hiding out with my old Swedish angel chimes).

I don’t know when (or even why) watching Christmas films became such a crucial part to my Christmas. I suppose it’s nice to have the romanticised version of Christmas and the happy endings to keep me going through all the build-up stress and distractions.

So how about you? What little things give you that “Christmas is coming” buzz? What’s your favourite Christmassy film? What are your favourite little rituals that you pretend you do for the rest of the family, but really you’d be lost without?

When I was a little girl (that sentence start makes me sound ancient), we used to have one of those Swedish Angel Chimes as our central table decoration at Christmas. You know the type? Brass with a candle-powered turbine driving three trumpeting angels around and around, striking bells as they went making a magical (to a 7 year old) tinkling sound. Pretty tacky, but an essential part of the Christmas Kitsch all the same.

I hadn’t thought about it in a while until this weekend while we were putting up our decorations. I had a vague memory of my mother giving them to me a couple of years back and I was sure that I’d packed it carefully away with the rest of the Christmas things, but it wasn’t in the box. Maybe at some point part of it had snapped off (it was pretty old and fragile, after all) and had got thrown away during our last clear out.

Then today, I found this teeny filigree angel chime at Hawkins Bazaar and fell in love.

It’s silver-coloured rather than brass, powered by a single tealight instead of four slim candles, and there are no bells (however, as an adult I’ve learned to appreciate silence far more!).

Even so, I think it’s rather special and after all, tackiness is what Christmas is all about…

Well, apart from the winter solstice/big party thing…

and the God thing…

and peace, goodwill to all mankind thing…

but we all know that kitsch and the inner-child is the most important part of Christmas.

The problem with staying at home once both kids have gone to school, is that the temptation to waste huge chunks of time mindlessly surfing the Internet becomes overwhelming.

It’s easy not to notice Internet time building up – after the school drop off it takes slightly longer each day to tear myself away. I just “check my email” (and Twitter… and RSS… and IM… and Mumsnet…) in between each chore. I have lunch at my desk so I don’t miss anything. All of a sudden, I realise I am addicted and am spending time on the computer to the exclusion of all else.

It’s not even particularly rewarding for me any more. I seem permanently in a state of boredom with it, constantly refreshing in the hope that there’s something miraculously interesting that has arrived in the last 30 seconds since the previous refresh. It’s fuelling lethargy and ennui, not eradicating it.

So, I’m cutting right back. For two days now I have limited my computer time with the help of a kitchen timer by my screen. I have a password on my screensaver and shut down every application so the dings of incoming mail don’t send me rushing to my desk to start reading before I even realise what I’m doing. Again.

It’s hard. I have a nagging panic that I might miss something, that I am out of the loop, unconnected. I am forcing myself kicking and screaming to get other stuff done. But I’m being productive again, starting to be interested in other activities and a pleasant unexpected side-effect is that when I am online I am being more choosy how I spend my limited time.

I’m enjoying my computer once more.

Dear Santa,

My apologies, I know you are a busy chap, especially at this time of year. I also know that generally you are only supposed to get letters from children and that grown-ups like me don’t get presents from you.

However, I am still a child at heart, it wouldn’t be totally out of order perhaps (as long as there’s still a little room left in your budget) to ask for a few minor things this Christmas?

• Motivation. I seem to be fresh out at the moment. I’m not sure if I just used up my quota right at the beginning of the year, or it all leaked out somehow. Either way, if you have any spare, I’d make good use of it, I promise.
• Ambition and Drive. I’ve mislaid my focus over the last year and I’m no longer sure what I want to be when I grow up (if I grow up). The motivation would be great if you can only spare one present, but having some guidance what to do with that motivation would come in very handy.
• A Life. Only if there’s a dusty one lying around behind someone’s sofa that no-one wants any more. I’m not picky.

Anyway, I hope this letter isn’t too impertinent. I hope both you and Mrs Claus are well and haven’t picked up this nasty norovirus doing the rounds. My love to Rudolph.

Pewari.

This post was brought to you by YourFonts.com and the fabulous Can’t Backspace blog.

It was an impressive slow motion chain reaction of things falling. A diary slipped from the top of a Christmas card box, off my metal paperwork filing intrays and knocked hard into a full glass of orange juice.

Orange juice. Possibly the most destructive substance to electronics known to man. It launched itself across my desk and drenched EVERYTHING. I must have sat there for 5 seconds watching the devastation while it dripped off the desk onto my lap and floor.

The keyboard is okay. A bit sticky, but it survived. For a little while the spacebar randomly jammed, but that seems to have unstuck.

The mouse wasn’t quite so lucky. First every time I clicked I got Exposé instead of a nice simple left-button click. Then it started randomly flicking in and out of Exposé without me being anywhere near it. Then the cursor went awol. Hours later, orange juice is still dripping out of its orifices leaving a sticky trail over the desk.

New mouse bought. Old mouse having a little trip to the dishwasher just in case I can rescue me a spare.

I’m just very thankful that the computer bit of the imac is raised up and avoided being orange juicified.

So today was the day of my hospital appointment to chat to the allergy consultant about how to treat the magically-extending seasonal hayfever I’ve been suffering over the last few years. (I was very fortunate to get a late cancellation at short notice).

I have been treated to peak flow/lung strength tests, skin tests and a blood test. Bit concerned about the blood test as they were testing my liver and … erm… somehow or other I’ve managed to have a glass of wine or a G&T every night so far this week! If it comes back on the tests that my liver isn’t so great, they’re NEVER going to believe me that that’s not my usual alcohol consumption!

Anyway, the skin tests were the most interesting scientifically. For those who have never been to allergy testing, they put little blobs of allergen in solution on your arm (with biro labelling for which is which) then a blob of histamine and a blob of saline as controls. Then they pierce your skin with a different needle for each blob, leave you to cook for 10 minutes then see which parts of your arm reacted.

I had one of these skin tests as a kid and knew that I was allergic to fur, feathers and dust mites, but obviously the hayfever has been a new thing as an adult. I still haven’t been totally sure what I’m reacting to – whether it’s tree pollen, grass, something that’s in the fields or common household moulds – so it was useful to see how my allergies had changed in the intervening years.

It wasn’t much of a surprise to see the expected bumps of reaction to cat, dog (sorry kids, guess the puppy is still out of the question) and horse. The dust mites (two different types apparently) however were two great big blisters. Even the nurse was impressed. As for tree pollen etc…. nada. Not even the slightest reaction.

Yes, that’s right. I do not react to either of the two common tree pollens, moulds, or rape seed. I do not have hayfever.

Erm.

Okay, so what’s making me ill through February to mid-November then? Surely dust mites would affect me more in the winter months and I’m fine for a whole three and a half months of that!

Apparently not – dust mites are prolific during the wetter, warmer months of spring and autumn according to the consultant (and let’s face it … it’s been fairly wet these last few summers too). Seems consistent. He still wants to test me for grass and erm…. something else they missed out as they’d run out of supplies, but given that I love the smell of freshly cut grass and don’t seem to react to it, it seems likely at this point that I am not a hayfever sufferer of any kind – who’da thunk it?

Have a prescription for some anti-allergy tablets, and heavy duty antihistamines and nasal spray which I’ll cash in closer to February. Apparently they like to throw everything at it for comfort, then slowly reduce levels until they find the balance where symptoms are controlled. Have another appointment just before my hayfever … erm… weird freaky allergy season is due to start.

Not sure how I feel about it all. I’m glad something is being done. But also strangely feel a bit of a fraud for not actually being allergic to what I was referred for…

People who have been reading the Prattle a while will know that one of my hot topics is civil liberties. I’ve been watching the progress of the Mosquito “anti-teen” device with interest (and vague disgust) since it first hit the news.

I was just finding myself getting more irate with today’s headline that their latest model is set at a frequency that will now hurt everyone’s ears when the postman arrived – with my “anti-cat” equivalent.

Okay, just colour me a hypocrite.