… I’d be asking why Track and Trace systems don’t have GPS for the more obsessive parcel trackers among us.

It should have been a fairly straightforward delivery. I was due in for the whole of the day, excepting three trips out of ten minutes each (one to take Akra Jr to school, one to take Li’l Bhaji to nursery and the final one to pick them both up again). All day.

You just know that the parcel will arrive in one of those ten minute slots, don’t you?

So, I hurry off to school for the first trip. It’s raining so I’m hoping that Akra Jr will be allowed straight in so I can minimize the time out of the house. He goes in the doors and I turn around relieved, ready to frog march Li’l Bhaji back home quickly to wait in for The Parcel [tm].

That’s when a sobbing Akra Jr appears at my shoulder and refuses to go to school – a “friend” of his had called him a name, and Akra Jr being a fairly sensitive soul took it very much to heart. It took a fair while to calm him down and get him back through the doors with at least a slight hint of a smile on his face.

I get home, I’m convinced there’ll be a “sorry we missed you” card through the letter box, but obviously my luck is in as they haven’t been yet.

I’m rabidly twitching curtains looking for a delivery van. One arrives. It parks outside a neighbour’s house – are they in the wrong place? Should I run out?

Ooo… he’s reversing out, he got the wrong house… he’s parking in front of mine… YES…. YES!

I have never been so disappointed to receive a crate of wine in my life.

Back to waiting. I know I should do something to keep myself occupied. Li’l Bhaji is happily doing jigsaws “By Myself, Mummy”. So I do some cleaning – it needs doing anyway. Of course, the windows got extra special attention. Time ticked slowly onwards. Lunch came and went. It was time to take Li’l Bhaji to nursery.

More frog marching (poor lad) and then just as we get to the door I see the Initial City Link van pull up the road. I know odds are on that he’s aiming for my house next as their depot is a fair distance away.

The poor child was signed in to nursery super fast (don’t worry, he actually completely ignored me and went straight for the painting activity, I’m not that self-obsessed) and I RAN all the way home. I had the advantage that it’s actually slower to drive round than go via the footpaths, but still, I very nearly gave myself an asthma attack and had to take several puffs of ventolin on entering the front door.

I arrived TWO MINUTES before he did… [insert smug look here].

The things people will do for their cameras.

There were about four boxes inside each other – it was just like pass the parcel for grownups, with tantalising pictures of the camera inside to tease you as you removed yet another layer.

Eventually, however, I got to the prize. The Canon 400D with the 18-55 lens kit, a 2GB Sandisk Ultra II and a Hoya UV filter.

All I had to do then was wait 90 minutes for the battery to charge up.

Now I have a grown up camera, does that mean I have to start taking “proper” pictures?!