Li’l Bhaji certainly knows the best flattery techniques. He saw a picture of Gillian Anderson today, pointed to it and said “That’s my Mummy!”

Either that or he was trying to dump me as his mother, I haven’t quite decided yet…

Need that perfect Latin quote to impress your friends and wow your colleagues? Look no further than Yuni Words of Wisdom – a pretty exhaustive collection in which you’re sure to find a phrase to suit every occasion.

Okay, I might have been a bit bored and uninspired today…

(Translation of this post’s title: Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out…)

What is it about toddlers and forgetting to put their hands out to protect themselves when they fall?

I mean, Li’l Bhaji knows how to fall properly – he’s had enough practise. I’m forever filling out the accident book at nursery or hand-picking out the bits of gravel from his hands and knees. All in a day’s work for the mother of a two year old, I assure you. And yet look around at the toddlers you see out and about and I can guarantee you that a fairly high percentage will be sporting a nice big vertical nose and mouth scab where face met pavement.

Well, Li’l Bhaji joined their ranks today. Fortunately, it happened in the school playground while dropping off Akra Jr. An organised friend of mine was organised enough to possess a clean tissue at the scene, and then we took him in to be mopped up with a medi-wipe by Akra Jr’s lovely classroom assistant. Even got given a spider “good” sticker for being brave (‘pider!).

All teeth are present and correct (it’s the first thing you check when they fall face first, trust me on this), but he has got a rather grazed, pink and puffy nose and lip.

Daft sod.

It seems that it is the season for serious celebrity accidents at the moment. First Steve Irwin‘s tragic encounter with a stingray while filming an underwater documentary and now Richard Hammond has been seriously injured (but fortunately not fatally) while performing a high speed stunt for BBC’s Top Gear.

Dicing with death seems to be all in a day’s work for a high profile celebrity, obviously.

Or is it? I was rather surprised and alarmed to read Focus: The blame game – an article in the Sunday Times written by Jeremy Clarkson (for non-brits, a fellow co-presenter on Top Gear). It appears that there have been calls for the popular car show to be axed or severely neutered in light of the recent accident. There have also been quieter mutterings in the press and public comments (and I noticed this with Steve Irwin’s death too) that as a parent, Richard Hammond shouldn’t be putting himself in these sorts of risky situations anyway.

I can sort of see where people are coming from. When I became a mother, I did find myself being far less tolerant of being in potentially dangerous situations. I haven’t ridden pillion on a motorbike since giving birth to Akra Jr five years ago, and the thought (frankly) terrifies me. Yet I was happy enough doing so even while in the early stages of pregnancy. The thrill of riding on rollercoasters no longer exists – I now either actively dislike or am indifferent to the sensation for anything other than the tamest of rides. I’m sure I’m not the only mother that has had the same attitude reversal towards self-risk. The problem comes when you assume parents who don’t experience that attitude reversal are somehow flawed.

You see, if I don’t actually want to do those things anymore, then there’s no actual sacrifice on my part to stop doing them, is there? And yet, there is a certain smugness inherent about saying “they shouldn’t do that if they’ve got children dependant on them” when you yourself are not making any sacrifices to not take those risks. We give up a hell of a lot for our children (rightly so), often verging close to the obliteration of our own hopes and dreams – if I was being asked to give up something I felt totally, utterly passionate about … would that be a sacrifice too far? What sort of message would that be giving to our offspring? Go for your dreams, kid, but the second you or your partner gets pregnant you can never do anything worthwhile with your life again!

There’s the thing. Steve Irwin and Richard Hammond both chose/choose to live the life that the did/do (random aside: that is SUCH a convoluted sentence, sorry about that). No-one forced them to do it – the BBC didn’t tell Richard Hammond to do a dangerous stunt, he volunteered – thought it’d make a good piece. They both presumably had the blessing of their family (and if they didn’t, that’s between them and their families, not the general public). They didn’t take stupidly insane risks: Steve Irwin knew a lot about the animals he dealt with, he had respect for them, he worked with knowledge and skill; Richard Hammond had emergency backup, was using a car designed for the speeds and was driving on a private track designed for high speed trials.

They were accidents. Accidents taken while in pursuit of something with the risks accepted by the people involved and taken into account. Steve Irwin’s accident could probably have happened to any experienced diver – stingrays are not known as dangerous, might give you a nasty sting and a minor injury, but fatality was extremely unlikely. It was an incredibly unfortunate accident. Richard Hammond – well, there’s not a lot you can do about tire blowouts – I’m sure there’s more than a few deaths at legal speeds on public roads in average estate cars that actually have dismal safety ratings (with shows like Top Gear being the ones publicising and lobbying for safety improvements). Given the level of safety equipment and emergency backup he had there while filming, I don’t think you could or should fault anyone.

Maybe we should remind ourselves that we need more risk takers. Risk taking can be good. We’re constantly being told that children are being over-protected, scared of taking risks, that our economy requires more people who know when to take risks – we’re crying out for entrepreneurs, more inventors, more innovators. There’s constant complaints in the press, blogs, message boards, in the school playground at hometime all about the Nanny State that the next generation are growing up into.

So why in the event of an accident do we immediately bay for the blood of the risk taker?

Well it looks like Miss L is the Be Seen competition winner with her highly inventive use for high visibility snap bands:

I think they would look fabulous on a really well trimmed standard poodle – you know, the ones with the bobbles on their tails and feet. They would need one around the tail and one around each ankle. Very fetching!

Drop me an email with your address, Miss L, and I’ll pop the snap band in the post to you. Just hope the poodle is obliging…

Yes, I’m referring to that famous quote from the Gina Ford vs. Mumsnet debacle.

The Mumsnet poster who came up with the infamous “She straps babies to rockets and fires them into south Lebanon” line as a throwaway joke, only for it to be specifically cited in a solicitor’s letter and hit national headlines, tells her side of the story in October’s Prospect magazine.

Her writing is stomach-creasingly funny and I was rather surprised to discover that she doesn’t actually have a journalist or writing background. Something she should remedy instantly, in my opinion.

Anyway, If you’ve ever idly pondered what you’d do if something you frivolously typed on a message board one evening ended up scrolling across the screen on every prime time news programme, then her article makes essential reading.

Hell is being stuck in traffic with a CBeebies CD stuck on permanent loop.

Watching Return to Jamie’s School Dinners last night and reading in the news about the mothers who were taking orders for chips to get around their school’s healthy eating policy, I despair that the whole healthy eating thing is really fighting a losing battle.

We’ve got it all wrong in this country. Totally wrong. It’s been wrong for a long time.

We’re a nation of food programme lovers instead of food lovers. Cooking is seen to be a leisure activity you do on a Saturday, after spending most of the week hunting down the ingredients and using every single utensil and pan you own. If cookery isn’t seen as your “thing” then you’re off the hook. I blame Jamie Oliver, Anthony Worral Thompson and all the other celebrity chefs as much as anyone for promoting an atmosphere where you buy a fancy cookery book then leave it untouched on your bookshelf while you buy a ready meal from M&S.

Food shouldn’t be about spending as much money as possible on a single ingredient and it being dinner party perfect. It should be every day, making the most out of everything, learning how to freeze in bulk, how to use leftovers… eking out the veg in the back of the fridge that is on the verge of getting a bit mushy, but is still alright with a bit of stewing and it still tastes great. That’s the real world. That’s what it would take for people to ditch the jars and have confidence in themselves that actually yes, they can cook.

What we need is more cookery books, more cookery programmes and proper Home Economics lessons reinstated in schools aimed at “normal” fresh and unadulterated food. Not things that take hours, cost a fortune, take ages to shop for because no bugger stocks half the stuff. I mean, even those “30 minute supper” cookery books you buy still actually take an hour and a half once you’ve chopped every damn bit of veg to stick in the “quick” stir fry.

No wonder people not confident in the kitchen and/or on an extremely tight budget end up writing the whole lot off as poncy rubbish and irrelevant to them.

Sylvia sent me this very silly Ikea ad which I thought you’d all appreciate.

Just as well really, as I’m currently creating a world tissue shortage (either I’ve caught Li’l Bhaji’s cold or coming of the antihistamines again was a bad idea – too early to tell) and just don’t have the motivation to blog properly.

Enjoy.

It’s September. The evenings are getting darker, earlier. The weather getting poorer.

Just how visible are you and your kids?

This is just what is being asked by 3M’s Be Seen road safety campaign and to mark the occasion they have sent me a High Visibility Snap Band to give away here on the Prattle as well as a couple for me to play with to keep my two monsters visible this winter.

I have to say they really are rather cool and fun. They’re made out of the same reflective material that emergency services personnel have on their uniforms, so reflect really well. They have some sort of metal coil inside which snaps straight and then when you tap it against something (like the top of your arm) it wraps around securely with a click. Great to put around arms, wrists, bags, handlebars of a bike … you get the idea.

Anyway, to get back to the point… the giveaway. I thought we could have a competition.

To win one of these fab snap bands, all you have to do is come up with an amusing and unusual use for one of these (keep it clean though, eh?). One that makes me laugh the most, gets the band…

Closing date is midnight on Saturday 23rd September.