The mop broke.

Went to buy a new one.

They only had the mop head type.

So had to get a wringer too.

You can’t buy a wringer without buying a bucket.

Bought one.

On the way home I thought, “oh sod this, not cleaning the kitchen floor now – it can wait until next floor cleaning day” (Tuesday – yes, I’m scummy).

Then realised that meant I could have waited until the weekend to go shopping and gone somewhere with more choice.

Bugger.

Get home.

Go into the kitchen.

The ten-year-old dishwasher has leaked ALL OVER THE FLOOR.

Oh well, at least I got to use my new mop.

Dishwasher recommendations, anyone?

You’ll be glad to know the Naan offspring are back home from the grandparents. In less than five seconds, EVERY toy has been brought out and all over the living room floor. The air is filled with “MINE! NO MINE!” and poo jokes.

God, I missed them.

In case that wasn’t enough deep thought for us, we actually have another potentially life changing discussion knocking around at the moment – moving house.

At some point, we’re fairly certain we’re going to have to move.

While the local primary school here is excellent, our local secondary is worse than dire – about a 20% pass rate for GCSEs and often in the local news for extreme bullying and truancy problems. Its Ofsted is not too glowing either. Colour me fussy, but on the whole I’d like my boys’ educational experience to be an enjoyable, well-rounded one even if it’s not exactly dazzling.

Realistically, this isn’t going to change by the time our boys are old enough to attend. It’s been the local sink school for at least 20 years that we know of. The other schools that we could “choose” are over subscribed and not our catchment area – they’re “good enough” not outstanding. Either way, Akra Jr and Li’l Bhaji are unlikely to get into them living here. Private education is and always will be well beyond our means.

So, as we see it we have the following four options (you’ll note staying put and going to the school regardless is not one of them):

1. Stay in Worcester but move to another secondary catchment. This has the advantage that both children can stay in the current primary school with minimal disruption. Housing choice in other catchment areas is limited and not all to our taste – we’ll certainly lose a lot of convenience by moving away from our current location. On the plus side, we would have to wait until Li’l Bhaji was in school too before moving, so that gives us a few more years to save and potentially get a nicer house.
2. Move to a neighbouring town – after long investigations yesterday I think we’ve pretty much ruled this one out. Neighbouring towns are smaller (and we miss the big city as it is), we’d not be able to keep the boys in their current primary and all in all the upheaval just wouldn’t be worth it.
3. Move closer to Akra’s work – probably Cheltenham or Gloucester. We’d probably have to rent for a while as we’re just not clued up enough on the good areas. Advantages that we would be in a bigger city with all the amenities that brings. Shorter journey time for Akra. Disadvantage is that our money wouldn’t go as far with houses and we’d have to move sooner rather than later to minimize disruption for the boys (i.e. before Li’l Bhaji starts school, ideally). I like Cheltenham but not quite as keen on Gloucester.
4. Go back to London – either back to Croydon (feels slightly like a backward step) or North London to be closer to Akra’s parents. The latter seems more sensible given that we want to do lots of travelling around the UK in the holidays (the M25 is a pain to get around). Lots of advantages, not least that we miss London… miss not being able to take the kids to the big museums, miss all the public transport, miss the facilities. Main disadvantage is cost – having got used to a detached house we’d have to go back to a terraced or semi (which is not the end of the world, I know, but I’ve got used not to have to share a party wall). We’d be saddled with a much larger mortgage and Akra would have to find a new job (which would likely involve a commute into Central London). If we’re taking this route we really should do it sooner rather than later to minimize the housing cost gap we would have to find.

So, lots to think about. Akra Jr and Li’l Bhaji come home tomorrow. I’m not totally convinced that we’ve come any closer to a decision on any of this since they went away.

I want to write
I want to do a martial art of some description
I want to be fluent in a language other than my own
I want to play the piano more often
I want to be fit … really fit… the point where your body works fluidly and powerfully
I want to be more adventurous with cooking
I want to decorate my house properly instead of always intending to do it
I want to learn to ride a horse
I want to take A-levels just for fun
I want to do an OU degree for no other purpose than because I can
I want to read my way through great literature … and a lot of crap literature too
I want to learn how to knit
I want to learn to play the flute
I want a DSLR and to learn how to be good at using it
I want to climb Snowdon (managed 2/3rds of the way when I was 16 but then ran out of time)
I want to set up a betta (fish) tank
I want a 4 double bedroomed house with 3 reception rooms in a good school area
I want to see all the cool parts of the UK I’ve never been to
I want to be better at keeping up with good friends
I want to feel like a better contributor to the household funds
I want to actually complete a computer game
I want to live by the sea

It occurs to me, looking at the list, which hasn’t even scratched the surface of all my whims and grand plans (these are just the few that came to mind while chatting to some friends on MSN), that I’m going to need three or four lifetimes worth to achieve them all.

I have so many interests, I don’t have time to fit them all in. At the same time, I feel I want to give them my all, I over-schedule myself then inevitably feel guilty and angry at myself for “failing” before getting swept away in the next project. As turquoise lisa told me on MSN, “I am constantly flitty, though you make me look quite steady”.

I think I either have to accept that I am, by nature, a jack of all trades and will never be master of any. To run with that, and enjoy it anyway. Work to my strengths. OR, I have to pick one or two things on that list and focus on them exclusively. Either way, I need to seriously reduce the commitments I’ve built up over time that I don’t really enjoy, but suck away all my time.

I haven’t read most of the blogs I like to keep up with for months now, with over 200 on my blog roll it gets so overwhelming, not to mention all the Flickr groups I’m trying (and failing to keep on top of). Mumsnet is far too interesting these days, but how many evenings have I spent where I look up and all I’ve done is read threads on there? Something needs to give…

Yesterday, the children were dropped off at their grandparents for a short holiday, so I have great plans to make the most of the next few days by giving myself a bit of a life makeover.

I’ve felt slightly stuck in a rut for a while now, not really sure of any direction. By going away for a holiday and changing the pace of life completely – it gives you the time and space to evaluate things and come up wanting.

So, lots of deep thought happening over the next couple of days.

However, this morning my achievements have amounted to getting up late, eating a fried breakfast (oh, okay … lunch) over the Sunday papers and having a pootle around Malvern. Maybe I’ll get around to some deep thought after I’ve cleaned out my poor deprived fishies’ tank.

A few places worth seeing and a few places not, should you find yourselves in the vicinity of North Wales with a 5 and 2 year old in tow.

You’ll note that National Trust properties feature a lot – this is because we’re members and because we prefer a free (well, okay … pre-paid) day out where there’s no pressure to enjoy it – if it’s boring, or the kids are playing up you can just leave without feeling that you ought to get your money’s worth first.

Penrhyn Castle

A fairly “recent” castle (built in the 19th century) built on the profits of slate mining and the import of Jamaican sugar. I have to say that if I had the money to build an absolutely HUMUNGOUS stately home, I would build it exactly like this one.

Plenty to do for all ages – we easily spent the entire day here, and even had we paid the entry price as non-members it would have been worth every penny. The tour of the house, takes around an hour (and I swear we must have only been shown around a tenth of the whole building), then there’s a steam train museum, various exhibitions, extensive gardens (walled and bog), adventure playground, and decent picnic provision. Even though it rained on and off throughout the day, we still had a fantastic time.

(Akra’s top tip: wear a baseball hat underneath your raincoat hood to keep rain off your face and glasses – much nicer).

Would revisit and still get a lot out of the return trip.

Anglesey Sea Zoo

Would that I could say this place was as good a value.

It was nice enough – it’s a large marine aquarium with lots for the kiddies to see, including crabs, a lobster hatchery, rays, sharks and seahorses.

My main quibble was that it cost just under £20 for the four of us and even though it was packed and moving slowly (so the boys got frustrated at being unable to see) we got through the lot in under an hour. Then everything outside (crazy golf, side-show style entertainments) was an extra cost.

Not good value for money and not recommended unless you desperately love fish and have money to burn.

Plas Newydd, Anglesey

Fortunately, just down the road from the Anglesey Sea Zoo is another National Trust property. We popped in as a way of not spending more money while killing a few hours before going back to camp, and ended up falling in love. If only we’d gone there first and been able to spend more time exploring the grounds.

The property itself is unusual, as the furnishings are more modern than many NT properties – with some of the rooms dressed in the period of 1930s. The dining room has a fabulous scenic mural painted from the artist’s imagination based on all the places he visited – I wish the children had slowed down a little there for me to have found out more of the backstory. There is also a collection of artifacts from the Battle of Waterloo, but to be fair we didn’t get to see much of that as the boys were desperate to get outside.

The grounds were magical and great fun to explore. There’s formal gardens, a woodland and marine walk, adventure trails with play areas and best of all, a tree house! We only left when Akra Jr and Li’l Bhaji couldn’t physically take another step.

Segontium

We just followed the brown NT signs for this one and didn’t quite know what to expect.

According to the members’ handbook, it’s a ruined Roman fort, and that it is – except the accompanying museum didn’t open until later, and without a proper leaflet or guide explaining what you’re looking at, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was just a few piles of stones laid out in an orderly manner.

Unsurprisingly we all got bored within seconds and went back to the car. Probably much more interesting without kids in tow.

Bodnant Garden

This promised to be really good. It’s billed as one of the top 20 tourist attractions in Wales (or could have been North Wales, I forget now), and as the kids always enjoy the gardens far more than the stately homes, we felt it was no loss to visit somewhere which was solely gardens. Acres and acres of gardens.

The first sign that all was not going to be as expected, was the large sign on entry that picnics were forbidden ANYWHERE within the grounds. This is most unusual – most NT properties seem to have a fairly lax attitude to where you choose to picnic, and even those that have designated areas have decent (and discrete) picnic tables. I have NEVER ever seen a litter problem at any NT site that allows this, even though bizarrely many of them forget to provide bins, relying on its visitors to take their rubbish home with them. To have a sign saying no picnics is deeply unwelcoming, especially to families with children who seem to need sustenance every 5 minutes or so.

The point where I lost all goodwill towards the place though was at the gate, where we discovered the only way to get a map of the extensive grounds was to pay for a £3 guide book. Normally, you get a small leaflet with a map of the premises as you enter the property, even if you don’t shell out for the (mostly useless when you get fast tours with children dragging on your arm) guide book.

Muttering darkly, we started to explore. Bodnant Garden is a set of Italianate terraces and formal lawns, with Woodlands and wild garden underneath this. Translated, that means a lot of steps, steep slopes and scary drops. We were not able to let go of Li’l Bhaji’s hand for a second.

When we got to the bottom (what a great place for a coffee shop THAT would have been!), the children were whiny and we were all not a little fed up, so we turned around and went back up (taking a few photos along the way, just to feel that we’d actually visited the place), past the craft shops, gift shop and garden centre they drag you through to get to the exit (by this point carrying Li’l Bhaji as the poor mite’s legs had completely given up), back to the car to eat our lunch vowing never to darken its doors again.

Would highly recommend NOT going to Bodnant Garden if you have small children.

As you may have guessed due to the distinct lack of updates on the Prattle over the last few days, we have been off on holiday.

Our second voyage in the Conway Cruiser, we chose to go for an extended four night visit to North Wales, with Akra Jr’s only criteria being that it had to be near a beach and our only criteria was to make sure we packed enough wine. I’m not sure that Li’l Bhaji expressed a preference either way.

Surprisingly (for fair weather campers who like our comfort and luxury) we decided to run the gaunlet of the bad weather, called its bluff and won… ish. We did question our sanity on the way up in the car as it was a torrential downpour, and Akra had to do the first part of setup dripping artistically while I tried to amuse the kids with Little Chef lollipops aquired earlier.

Then, about 15 minutes after arrival, the rain stopped, allowing us all to get out and have a wander and add the finishing touches – like a much needed windbreak, a luxury purchase that turned out to be a necessity after we realised shortly after arrival that camping by the sea meant very exposed and windy. Mostly, though, the rain fell at night (in rather fat blobs and accompanied by very blustery winds, but hey – who needs sleep when you’re on holiday, eh?) and on the Sunday we had a few downpours, but we carried on and enjoyed our daytrips regardless. The heavens opened again shortly after departure, washing the car of all the mud we’d aquired trying to get off-site.

Aberafon‘s facilities, we were quick to discover, were clean but very basic. The toilets closest to our pitch had no hot water, and you had to remember to bring your own loo roll, soap and a towel. The main amenity block was a walk away, but at least had warm water – and a charge of 20p for a 3-minute shower. We now realised that we’d been very spoiled with our previous trip to Bracelands.

Access to the site was down a very narrow and windy single-track lane – not too bad coming down, but you offered supplications to multiple pantheons that no-one expected you to reverse on the way back up. We also hadn’t quite appreciated what a private slipway on the property actually meant in reality; early evening saw the salty smell of the sea air replaced by burning boat fuel as engines were revved and boats cleaned before putting them into the sea, and young lads with ancient landrovers practising off-road rocky beach driving. Not quite the peaceful idyll we were expecting.

The view and location, however, eclipsed everything and made it all worth while. Aberafon Campsite is set at the base of a mountain, with Snowdonia a short journey by car away. There’s also something very primal about being by the sea, and even the early morning trudge to the toilet block was a magical experience as soon as you took a lungful of sea air and cast your eye on the low sunlight sparkling on the water.

The pitches are arranged very thoughtfully and with plenty of space. Aberafon had a much greater community feel to it than the larger commercial Bracelands site. We got to know our neighbours fairly swiftly, of both the human and animal kind – ducks, geese, (not so) wild rabbits, a chicken and a couple of goats also make Aberafon their home, much to the boys delight. We quickly relaxed into the slower pace of life, and after the shock of the first night, found the boating community to be friendly and interesting – it was actually great fun sitting back with a glass of wine and watching the ritual launching of the boats to make the most of the evening tides.

The four nights we were there weren’t perfect. Willful stubborn offspring and their willful stubborn parents (aka Akra Jr, Li’l Bhaji and us) pretty much wrecked one of our evenings, and the rain made a very muddy field interesting to tow out of at the end of our stay.

However, given the opportunity I’d be back at the Aberafon campsite in a heartbeat… whatever the weather.

So, does the environmental superiority of not taking an annual package tour holiday via a mega-polluting, DVT-inducing economy passenger jet (conveniently ignoring the real reason of exorbitant costs of term-time flights) outweigh the environmental deadly sin of buying a gas-guzzling, pedestrian-mowing 4×4 for towing out of boggy muddy fields necessitated by holidaying in the UK?

If I promise never EVER to take it on the school run, would you forgive me?

Given that we just had a hail storm here, and the weather for the weekend doesn’t look like it’s going to be much of an improvement… would it be a very foolish move to go camping?

Any wet weather entertainment suggestions?

Three random things that have aggravated me in the last 24 hours in no particular order:

• Grandparents: when taking your grandchild to swimming lessons please don’t applaud repeatedly and shout suggestions of technique to them. For one, it distracts the child. Secondly, it annoys the teacher. Finally, and most importantly, it completely pisses off the parent sitting next to you who is trying to read her Practical Photography magazine in the only half hour she’s had to herself all summer.
• Drivers who pootle along at 40mph in a nice wide, straight and open “National Speed Limit Applies” road (with unfortunately no overtaking opportunities due to level of traffic) but then speed up when they reach a 30mph zone. Wankers.
• Pissant bullying lawyers who suddenly offer no-win no-fee for superfluous libel cases. Because obviously being a top childcare guru just doesn’t pay enough to obliterate any site on the Internet that doesn’t agree with you. Naming no names of course. (Legal fund here. Petition here.)