The love isn’t there anymore, it’s a chore, I have nothing left to say, it’s time to close the book on this relationship. I’ve seen it coming for a while, so it’s not a great surprise and while I’m sad, I’m also relieved. No, I’m not talking about a huge rift between Akra and me, but about blogging.

This blog has served its purpose. It got me through some “interesting times”, it gave me an outlet, it proved to me that I could write something regularly even if a large proportion was dross. It also had some very welcome side effects: I ‘met’ some lovely people through it and have discovered some great places on the web, I’m constantly amazed with the hits I get on the mooncup post or the colic resources post, I’ve enjoyed these last two and a bit years.

Now though, life is busier than ever. I’m in the process of simplifying my life to those things I need to do or love to do. This blog fits into neither category.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. See you around some time.

Love,
Pewari.

We had old friends (from my original baby group with Akra Jr when we lived in Croydon) visiting us this weekend and it was so much fun. It really highlighted to me how grown up Akra Jr is these days, especially when running off to play with his friend, T, who is growing up to be a stunningly beautiful young lady. Had to laugh when overhearing this conversation though:

T: I’m going to marry you, when I grow up.
Akra Jr: No. [pause] When I grow up, I’m going to… to… be a fireman!

(because obviously everyone KNOWS you can’t be a fireman and be married at the same time…)

Click on the extended entry for a new flashy slideshow thing now available on Fotothing! Very addictive… and damn, I’ve taken a lot of photos in the last year…
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It’s hardly out of the news at the moment, with more and more inflammatory reports every day. I’ll be honest, the idea of a ‘flu pandemic absolutely terrifies me, but I’m just not sure what we (as in the average population) are supposed to do about it? Is all the media coverage really helping? I remember feeling like this during all the smallpox hoohah back when Akra Jr was a baby – I was convinced that we were all going to die a horrible and painful death. The media hype again seems to be doing more harm than good.

Maybe it’s the stark reminder that our lives (and whether we keep them) is really out of our control. I like to feel like I’m in control of our lives, that I can make a difference. I make sure we’re eating healthily, I worry about the kid’s TV input, the quality of the school and nursery they go to, how much exercise we have… but at the end of the day, whether any of us are alive tomorrow is down to pure chance. I can’t control reckless drivers, random meteorites, global pandemics, extremists, sudden death syndrome, outbreak of war… hell, I can’t even stop us getting a simple common cold, let alone anything more serious. Sometimes just the mere thought of all that could go wrong paralyses me. But hasn’t that always been the case throughout history? Mankind has always lived in ‘interesting times’.

I found the Avian Flu FAQ over at the BBC fairly good and less scare-mongery than most of the reports flying around. The rest I’m going to worry about if and when we get there. But maybe I’ll just hug my kids a little harder tonight…

My brain’s not functioning today, and I don’t want to do anything constructive. So you guys can write my blog today. Post me a comment with a link (just write in the link in plain text leaving the http:// bit in and it’ll automatically convert it to a clickable link) to an interesting site or game you’ve seen today. Don’t link to your own site – I can follow that from the url you leave in the comment form – find me something new and interesting to waste my time at!

… for the price of one (seeing as how I forgot to post yesterday).

Firstly, Eclectech have done it again, with a great little animation: The Swizz of the Cards.

Secondly, how’s this for a great present for the security conscious child this Christmas? Note the customer reviews!

That heartfelt phrase was uttered by Akra Jr yesterday, after a lot of cooing and fussing over his brother by his Nana. I think my heart might just have broken into two. With Li’l Bhaji changing so rapidly and doing so much at the moment (latest achievement: an explosion of signing words such as hat, cat, dog, pig and more) it’s sometimes hard for a four year old to grasp back the limelight, especially when said four year old has been quite difficult and naughty recently.

I’ve failed him terribly, of course. What mother doesn’t think that when their child comes out with something like that? Despite all reassurances though about how much he’s loved, the theme has carried on this morning with a long chat on the way to school.

He feels like we are always telling him off (I don’t think we do – I’ve been very careful recently to try and ignore the bad and praise up the good and spend some extra one-on-one time with him, but obviously not enough) and that he’s not wanted. I’ve explained that we tell him off because we care about him, that if we didn’t care we wouldn’t be bothered what he did, broke or whether he hurt himself (yeah, I wouldn’t buy that as a four year old, either). I’ve given him the speech about how there’s no-one else in the world quite like him and he is very special. Instead he just named another child who shares the same first name as him and has decided he should swap families with him. I’ve told him how upset that would make me, but I’m not sure it’s sunk in.

Any suggestions gratefully received…

Well, despite the GP receptionist telling me I probably didn’t qualify, I received a letter this morning calling me in for vaccination. Isn’t it nice to get that warm fuzzy feeling of them knowing what they’re doing?!

So, just got to try and get the kids covered now… Akra is completely ambivalent. He just better not expect extensive nursing if he does go down with flu again this year ;)

I’m becoming increasingly frustrated at trying to get a flu vaccination for myself and the boys. Ideally, I’d like a thiomersal-free one too, but at the moment I’m struggling to hunt down any kind of flu jab, let alone a specific one.

I’ve tried:

- my GP’s office (first stop, of course). Akra Jr and Li’l Bhaji don’t qualify in their eyes (only those people in high risk groups or over the age of 65 get them on the NHS) and they weren’t even sure if I should get one even though I’m asthmatic and was told by the asthma nurse last time that I should get myself one. In either event, they haven’t got the jabs in yet, and I have to wait a couple of weeks before I can even ask if I qualify. Never mind, I’m happy enough to pay and leave the other jabs for those people who can’t and who are higher risk than me.

- next stop, Bupa. After all, they’re the first people you think of when you think “private” in the UK. After hitting their answerphone twice and speaking to clueless people, I eventually discover that they don’t do any vaccinations at my local Bupa clinic. Fine.

- Boots. Were absolutely amazed that I’d even considered that they did them. Sorry, Worcester must be in the back of beyond then, because I’m fairly certain your Croydon branch used to do them every year.

- Superdrug. Not getting them in until the end of the month. Now as the boys are going to have to have 2 jabs 4 weeks apart, that’s uncomfortably deep into the flu season for me. Worse, the guy I spoke to claimed they *didn’t* need 2 jabs – against all the medical advice I’ve received so far about how the flu vaccination works the first time you have it. I’ve registered with them, but still on the hunt for somewhere else.

How hard can it be?! I’m running out of places to try now…

… it’s winter. The winter duvet went on last night!

Only problem is that I was soooo snug and warm this morning I ended up being late getting out of bed and everything was a rush. Can I just become a cocoon until around March time please?