Sorry, I kind of assumed that when Akra Jr started school I’d have *more* time to myself not less! That wasn’t in the manual!

Anyway, Saturday night Li’l Bhaji decided to throw up all over me three times for no apparent reason but has been perfectly happy since. No idea why he was ill, but the carpets and our clothing took a real beating. Still recovering from that (and I need to redo the stain remover *sigh*)

Then today. Today was a day you KNOW you didn’t want to get out of bed for. Today was a day that I decided to humanely dump a rather large spider out the front door rather than squish it. Today was a day that Li’l Bhaji was rather closer behind me than I realised. Today was the day that Li’l Bhaji decided it would be fun to close the door behind me.

Click.

Sinking feeling. I try the handle, it’s of course locked. And I’m fairly certain I left the stairgate open momentarily (spider was on the stairs). Oh God.

Quickly check through the window to see if he’s okay, but can’t see him as he’s still by the door. Quickly run round the back to see if by some miracle I’ve left the back door open or any windows. Of course I haven’t. Security conscious, me. Wouldn’t want anyone to come waltzing in around the back now, would we?!

Fortunately, due to texting fervour earlier on (Li’l Bhaji had managed to walk all the way back home from Tescos, and I was busy crowing as you do…) I had my mobile in my pocket. See Li’l Bhaji playing with a socket cover through the window. Oh god, which socket have I left uncovered then?!

Friend from round the corner duely arrives on her day off (what a star!) with a coathanger. Li’l Bhaji getting a bit upset now – can’t work out why mummy is smiling at him through the window and talking to him through the letterbox but not coming back in now. Game over, after all, right?

Coathanger is of the plastic variety and not flexible enough to get to the right angle. Friend goes to knock on all my neighbours doors hoping that someone is in. In the meanwhile, I telephone Akra (he’s half an hour a way) in the hope that he could come home to open the door. Neighbour interrupts business meeting, brings out wire coat hanger and business associate and both gamely try to open the door while friend and I coax Li’l Bhaji around to the window so he doesn’t get jabbed in the eye by said coathanger. Li’l Bhaji getting pretty hysterical now. This just isn’t FUNNY mummy. Come back in NOW.

Plan fails dismally when coathanger just slips off the handle and then they lose their grip and it drops on the inside of the door. Yellow pages summoned instead. We briefly debate whether replacement window or locksmith would be cheaper. I decide I’d rather not be sweeping up glass all week and locksmith is called. Akra arrives home. Key is on inside of door, so spare key won’t turn in the lock. We settle back to await the locksmith. Li’l Bhaji now in full scream mode.

Locksmith arrives having interrupted his previous job because the dispatch lady mentioned baby inside – thank you thank you thank you! Only he can’t get the front door open either. In the end, he had to snap the back door lock and completely replace it to get us in. Lots of cuddles with a thankfully unharmed toddler later, things are looking up.

End result: 45 minutes of horror, a bill of £100, a toddler who had nightmares at his lunchtime nap and is now very clingy and a VERY frazzled mother.

Lesson learned. Next time the spider gets squished.