Today I started the marathon that is finding an appropriate school environment for Akra Jr. (Before anyone suggests it, no, homeschooling is not an option for us – while I do take an active interest in Akra Jr’s learning process and enjoy helping with bursts of home learning, homeschooling would drive me completely insane. I have the utmost admiration for anyone who has the dedication and discipline required to homeschool their kids).

A simple first step – I phoned the four short-listed schools and asked about open days/tours and to find out if they have any sort of prospectus. The response I got ranged from abruptness (verging on rudeness) and refusal to supply any information until after half term right through to the headmistress calling me back, chatting about her school and arranging a meeting where she would personally give us (including Akra Jr) a tour. Well, I know where I feel more welcomed…

What with the tiredness from the antihistamines, I’ve been somewhat less than attentive of my two darling children lately. To compensate, Akra Jr seems to geared into constant chat mode, and I mean CONSTANT. If I leave the room, he keeps going either not noticing I’m no longer there, or just switching his audience to his toys (which, to be honest, are probably giving him a better response). So this recent exchange was a bit of a wake up call:

Akra Jr (on about 15th repetition): … I *said* I climbed the chair arm!
Mummy (realising she’s not going to be able to ignore this one, in distracted voice): That’s nice, well done.
Akra Jr (sighing): No, Mummy. You don’t have to say “well done”, you just have to say “Oh!”.

Oops. I think he’s cottoned on.

You know, I believe Star Wars has a lot to teach us in our daily lives. I’m going to start applying the things I’ve learned *right away*.

Think I can get away with telling Akra Jr (3 years old) “No, no… there is no why”?

So we’ve caved and put money into Mr Lucas’ pockets yet again and bought the DVD addition of the classic three films (none of that prequel rubbish in this house).

For some reason though, the subtitles are jammed on. Not that it bothers us that much because we quite often have the subtitles on (to cope with poor attention span, doing two or three things at once some of which noisy, or having the TV too quiet so we don’t wake the kids).

Interestingly, while they have subtitles for R2D2 (Whistle Blip Beep!) which is extremely cool, there are no subtitles for Darth Vader’s breathing (Wheeze Wheeze). Mr Lucas, bring out another edition now! That’s the whole point of Darth Vader down the pan! (Well, apart from the “Luke, I *am* your father” debacle).

Update: GAH! They cheat further by using [Speaking Alien Language] for the jawas and alien robots. *Pout*.

It all started yesterday with itchy ears. “Ooo… which side means money again?” I thought. Ah no, that’s itchy palms and burning ears if someone’s talking about you, isn’t it? Well, perhaps someone was talking about me in respect of giving me a huge amount of money (well, a girl can dream).

Then, in the evening, they got VERY itchy… and bumpy. Then my face started to burn. This morning I am smothered in a rash all over my ears, face, neck and a small bit at the top of my chest – t-shirt neck shaped. By the time I got myself to the doctors (and isolated in a separate room just in case) my arms had started a rash too.

GPs must have a boring life, don’t you think? I imagine two GPs having a discussion over morning coffee:

GP1: So, how’s your day shaping up?
GP2: 3 mystery rashes, 1 guy with a minor cold trying to tell me it’s flu so he can get a sick note, 1 case of thrush. You?
GP1: Well, let’s just say I’m keeping Eli Lilly & Co* in business today.
GP2: By yourself or for your patients?

* manufacturer of Prozac

Anyway, to cut to the chase, I have some sort of allergic dermatitis. Not contagious. Not much chance of finding out exactly what caused it as it can take several days to develop after contact with the allergen (likelihood is that it was something to do with the sun on holiday or the suntan lotion). Look like I should be in a leper colony right now. I have antihistamine tablets and hydrocortisone cream – neither licensed for use while breastfeeding, but apparently a fairly good track record in lack of problems. As my face is burning and I want to pull my ears off, I’ve got to the point where I’m going to have to take the risk.

Hoping to make a much less spotty entry tomorrow.

I suppose I ought to be surprised that increasing numbers of parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome are being falsely accused of abuse – unfortunately I’m not, just very disheartened that this still goes on. However, I did doubletake at one part of the article:

“He said: ‘Right you are on the at risk register because your parents are abusing you emotionally and physically’,” said Ben.

“At first I was numbed by that information, just the way that it was said, quick sharp.

“The next words out of his mouth were: ‘it concerns me you are not into sport and fashion like normal children of your age’.”

Bloody hell. You’re considered at risk if you’re not interested in sport or fashion?! The majority of the nerd population (of which I proudly proclaim I am one… after all, nerds are in this season) must be on the At Risk Register!!

Still, it makes a change from us being suspected of being on the verge of going on a school rampage with semi-automatic weapons…

Of course, I was all set to be fairly productive after my nice restful holiday (*guffaw*) but two things have rather scuppered my plans.

The first is (as I’ve already mentioned) the installation of ADSL at last. All of a sudden, web browsing has become an awful lot more fun. Even with all you wordy lot creating hundreds of posts for me to catch up with on my return. Photoblogs have become my new passion – it’s actually feasible to work my way through the 400+ entries to Photo Friday each week again. All hail the almighty broadband.

The other fantastic time waster is Sims 2 and I can catagorically state it is every tiny bit as addictive as the original, if not more so. I spent several hours yesterday evening tweaking the appearance of my Sim, which is particularly sad really, and then when I looked up again after a short gameplay it was 1am. Oops. Today, you’ll be pleased to hear that Amelia has got married to a lovely chap and they’re now trying for a baby.

As if my real family with two under-5s isn’t engaging enough…

Pros

• Nice and warm

• Rioja on tap
• Akra Jr adored both the swimming pool and the beach – really getting into swimming much more than previous years
• Good evening conversation

Cons

• Two 3 year olds (Akra Jr + friend, T) seemingly constantly in bicker mode

• Overly optimistic on how to cope with a 4 month old on a long trip away from home
• Child sleeplessness (Room too dark for Akra Jr, too light for T… L’il Bhaji just thoroughly pissed off not to be in own bed). Ended up with Akra Jr and L’il Bhaji in our room but still took an age and a half to get them all settled in the evening and had many night wakings
• Spain is currently overrun by these buggers: (warning do not click if not fond of large black beetle thingies with long antennae and an uncanny ability to run straight towards you)
  Yes, that’s a cockroach. Apparently a different species to UK cockroaches, so they’re not a health hazard, don’t infest and don’t bite but the buggers fly everywhere, scurry bloody fast (but not as fast as the latest Tom Clancy… HAH!) and are generally horribly creepy

• L’il Bhaji decided to demonstrate projectile vomiting early into the holiday, thus panicking his already over-stressed mother

Conclusion
I need another holiday to recover.

Not unpacked yet. Still deleting hundreds of spam comments. Bastards. Did anyone leave me any real comments while I was away?!!

Off to sunny Spain. Talk amongst yourselves while I’m away. Don’t let the spammers take over.

Back in a week.