So, I’m on the way back from taking Akra Jr to Tumbletots…

*takes a deep breath*

• Li’l Bhaji wakes up a full hour early in the car and starts screaming

• Finally get home and bump into next door neighbour’s mother who is looking after their baby girl
• Manage to extracate Akra Jr from peering into the buggy saying “hello” over and over again while Li’l Bhaji working himself up into a real hungry howl of indignation
• Get inside. Akra Jr demands a DVD and a snack
• Can’t find the damn DVDs anywhere… the little git has hidden them
• Li’l Bhaji still howling. Now Akra Jr howling and accusing me of breaking his toy snake (wooden part of the tail missing in action)
• Doorbell rings… ARGH!
• Some woman checking to see that we’re receiving the free paper (eh? they phone us once a fortnight to check too… are they made of money?). Enlist her help for missing snake part.
• Postman arrives.
• Get back inside. Akra Jr suddenly remembered he “put the DVDs in a drawer”. Finally find one, bung it in the machine. Too many adverts to skip through (menu button disabled … a thousand curses to Disney).
• Get Li’l Bhaji latched on (poor mite)
• Li’l Bhaji finishes his meal, Akra Jr reminds me of forgotten snack.
• Get snack.
• Search high and low (okay, inside the car, outside the house and all around the lounge) for missing snake part. Yay, found it! Akra Jr grudgingly says thank you when prompted.
• Li’l Bhaji starts to cry again – he’s tired this time
• Take Li’l Bhaji up for his nap
• Akra Jr wakes Li’l Bhaji on no less than three occasions while I’m trying to settle him, due to “scary bits” and untimely end of film.
• Come downstairs at last. Now Akra is trying to enlist conversation via ICQ. Fire off a couple of sentences. About to sit down.
• Damn, still have my mother to phone (she left an answerphone message yesterday while we were at parents-in-law)
• Pick up the receiver. Another answerphone message. From my mother. With sarcastic comment wondering if we were still alive.
• Reassure mother I’m still alive. Wind up the conversation fairly quickly as I realise Li’l Bhaji is awake and crying again.
• Still winding up conversation. Doorbell rings. Manage to put phone down. Notice with relief that Li’l Bhaji has fallen back to sleep with no intervention.
• Open door to welcome distraction of friend and her toddler. As long as they don’t require coherent conversation I should be okay.
• Whirlwind of toddler manages to find a big puddle out in the garden and sits in it.
• Find spare nappy, shorts and a carrier bag to put wet clothes in.
• Akra Jr informs me he’s wet his pants. He’s soaked through. Remind him of location of potty and find him clean pants and trousers.
• Li’l Bhaji wakes up. Is in grumpy mood.
• Friend and toddler leave after toddler misbehaves and ignores instructions. Akra Jr ignores request to stay inside as Li’l Bhaji working himself up to frenzy and I want to go see to him.
• Akra Jr picks up a fistful of small stones and throws them.
• Akra Jr slightly pissed off by his mother taking affront at this, swooping in and bodily heaving him inside the house
• Akra then informs me he’s leaving late due to hacker incident at work.

*screams very loudly*

Still, kids are in bed now. Thank God.