Are the congratulations cards taking the piss when they talk about our “bundle of joy”?!

The above picture was our attempt to try and get a passport photo done for Li’l Bhaji. As you can tell, we didn’t quite succeed. Having photos for babies in their passports is a bloody stupid idea anyway. Trying to get a clear, full face, non-screaming, eyes open photo out of a 3 week old is asking for trouble and is hardly going to be a good likeness five years down the line…

… as trying to get this baby to sleep during the day has reached farcical proportions.

Yesterday, having not slept since 12.30pm, we thought we’d take Li’l Bhaji out in the car for a ride around 3.30pm in an effort to get him to sleep soundly for a little while. Babies and cars equals instant sleep, right? We also needed to go to the library as we had some books that were about to go overdue, so combined the two goals and bundled the kids into the car, drove around the block a few times just to be sure and found a space outside of the library.

Akra Jr was completely zonked. Couldn’t wake him up at all to go into the building. Li’l Bhaji however, was still wide awake. To add insult to injury, Akra runs into the library to do a quick book drop off before doing some more driving around only to find that it had closed 3 minutes previously…

Interesting news item on the continuing anti-obesity fast food is evil theme: Hospital Ends Burger Voucher Offer. In short, a certain fast food corporation who we all love to hate had been arranging weekly children’s ward visits and providing entertainment, toys, balloons and vouchers for free food to the sick kids. There was such an outcry that the practice has been stopped.

Now, while I can see that politically it’s probably not ideal in the current climate, I appreciate that it’s a cynical marketing ploy on the part of McDonalds and nutritionally speaking a happy meal isn’t the most well-balanced thing to eat when you need all the help with your health you can get… BUT (you knew that was coming didn’t you?)…

Having just had a few days stay in hospital and tasted the food that’s on offer from their own canteens, I’m inclined to suggest that maybe some chicken nuggets or a hamburger might actually have a vitamin or two MORE than what those children are currently eating. It’d certainly be a lot more appetising. It did cross my mind when I was there, that it’d be nice if there was a Burger King or McDonalds outlet in the main foyer of the hospital just for a bit of variety – and I was only in for a couple of days – imagine being there week in and week out! Not to mention the visits, toys etc helping to break up the monotony of hospital life for them.

I promise I’m not on McDonalds’ payroll, honest, but I do wish they wouldn’t get painted as the Anti-Christ every time they’re mentioned in the media. It’s all very well getting het up about children eating junk food, but until there is GOOD QUALITY healthy alternatives available to them in hospitals and schools as well as at home then it’s rather hypocritical to get worked up about the odd cheeseburger now and then…

Of course, now I have reading matter, Li’l Bhaji decides to sleep from 11pm right through to 6am. I think it was a fluke as he’d been exceptionally (and miserably) awake during the day and the evening.

Still, at least we all caught up on our sleep, right? Wrong! Akra Jr woke up three times instead…

My first month’s Mills and Boon subscription arrived in the post today. Well that’s the night feeds’ entertainment sorted for a while…

Today was my first day completely alone with the two boys as Akra went to work for the whole day. It wasn’t particularly a success.

It’s my fault, for mentioning that Li’l Bhaji was settling nicely into a routine. I obviously jinxed it. He wouldn’t settle for any nap, and any time he looked close to being sleepy Akra Jr managed to scupper it with an inappropriate tickle, loud shout or noisy toy. The baby had so little sleep he got overtired and started to go hoarse from all the wailing – I’m sure half the neighbours were debating phoning the NSPCC. Akra Jr got whingy because I was permanently seeing to the baby and not him.

Not a good day.

And I get to do it all again tomorrow.

Technically, today is Li’l Bhaji’s due date. It’s very strange looking at a baby that wasn’t supposed to come out quite yet, it does make me wonder if he was left to his own devices which birthday he would have chosen.

We’ve come up with lots of endearing (well, to us) nicknames for the poor unsuspecting soul. Squeeky (after the noise he makes just as he’s starting to complain that he’s a bit peckish), Froglet (his most comfortable lying position involves having his legs bunched up either side of him) and Scrawny Chicken (what can I say – he was taken out 2 weeks before his time – he didn’t get a chance to lay fat down on his legs!!) are the more repeatable ones.

He seems to be settling into a nice routine (mixture of evil parents and sleepy babes has meant that both Akra Jr and Li’l Bhaji have had routines thrust upon them… but they sleep and eat much better on it, so I’m not going to be too apologetic), gaining weight nicely and I certainly notice that I’m more laid back about it all this time around.

However, the novelty for Akra Jr is waning fast. Last Friday, on the way to nursery, he asked me if the dragon (his imaginary friend) was going to eat his baby brother. Today, when the Health Visitor was here, he asked her if she was going to take the baby away. On the whole, though, he’s been very good with Li’l Bhaji, is very gentle and careful with only a few soft toys being aimed at his head in moments of exhuberance. He’s mostly been taking out his frustrations on Mummy and Daddy.

It’s more noticeable because generally we’ve lucked out with Akra Jr and got a very good kid who spends most of his time telling *other* children the rules and getting upset if they don’t adhere to them. Now though, he’s changed from a child who’ll do most things you ask of him to a child who’ll rebel against most things you ask of him. Li’l Bhaji gets the cuddles while Mummy and Daddy get the slaps, the kicks and the tantrums. I think I need to make a concerted effort this week to make sure Akra Jr gets lots of attention during the baby’s nap times no matter how exhausted and uninspired I feel.

Not entirely sure when I can schedule ‘me’ time into all of this…

Status: still here
Mental State: just about sane
Exhaustion Level: off the chart
Pre-schooler Tolerance Alert Status: condition red

As I enjoyed my birth preparation hypnotherapy tape, I recently decided to invest in a positive thinking hypnotherapy CD. Heaven knows, you need positive thinking when your hormones are all over the shop and you have two young children in the house…

Finally managed to find some time to listen to it this afternoon. It’s not a bad tape, very relaxing, but couldn’t they have found a more cheery narrator? He sounds like Marvin the Paranoid Android! It’s rather incongruous to hear phrases like “I always see the positive in every situation” spoken in the voice of someone who gives the impression of being a chronic depressive.

I am seriously considering printing up some little cards to hand out before the start of those conversations with complete strangers you end up getting sucked into while out and about with a newborn. A kind of “New Baby FAQ”. Here’s my first draft:

Q. Oh, you’ve had the baby now then?
A. No. I just found this one outside of Tescos and thought I’d take it home with me.

Q. Boy or Girl? Name? Weight at Birth?
A. Boy. Li’l Bhaji. 7lb 5.5oz

Q. Doesn’t he look small!
A. Trust me, he didn’t feel that small during his world debut.

Q. How was the birth?
A. Oh it was a breeze, just walking along one day and out he popped (clue: I’m being sarcastic. They don’t call it labour for nothing. I don’t know you, and I’m really not prepared to start discussing a blow-by-blow account right now, especially as you’re really not that interested and just fishing for something to say).

Q. Is he a good baby?
A. WTF?! He’s 10 days old FFS! What sort of answer are you expecting? No. He’s very naughty. Constantly answering back, stealing money from my purse and going joy-riding with his mates…